YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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