this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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