You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
