dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
