I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
