He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
