STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
