I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
well you can't waste a boner
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
