the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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