His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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