so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
