I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
