Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
