i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I had to cum in my sink.
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