Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
