i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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