WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So much Jack, so little girl.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
