Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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