Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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