My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
