I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
