Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
