why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
