The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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