she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
