who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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