Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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