is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
