she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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