My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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