i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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