He had one of those small greek statue penises
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
