when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
