i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
