He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
