worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
