Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
