So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
