We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
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