like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize