I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
