You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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