Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
