btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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