tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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