im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
