i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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