lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
