I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
