we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
