i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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