dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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