using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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