yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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