I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
sex in a hospital.. check
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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