I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
