just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
