she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
