God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
