you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
