i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
