I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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