So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
