watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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