Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
