Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
