The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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