I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
