I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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