So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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